Education Gets you No Where
by Alliecat279
Summary: Though, through all of this, you still suppose you’d support the Alliance if you had to live through it again. They still did good in the universe. You suppose.


_Please Review._

He baffles you, which most people don't. Actually, no one has before him because this is exactly what you went to school for. Understanding people. Knowing what they want, what they need. But you know nothing of how his mind works or what his needs are and it bugs you though you'd never tell him that. No, he'd probably get some grim satisfaction knowing that you great Alliance school with your great Alliance teachings won't even allow you to understand a simple petty thief as himself.

But he's more than a petty thief; so much more that you don't even know how to describe him and you've tried. Oh you've tried to come up with exactly what the correct term for him would be but each and every time you've failed so very miserably. So you called him a petty thief on more than one occasion and you see the hurt in his eyes each time you do. But hey, if he cant get away with calling you a whore on a daily basis, one should think that something like that should be fair game.

Its not, and you know it.

You imagine that he was once an amazing man before that war. Before history stepped on him so horribly that all that was left of him was a home that was long gone and beliefs that no one has these days. He was honorable. Maybe that was the Captain in him. A lot better than the other captains of the other ships that you interviewed for a shuttle to stay in. You sensed it. In that simple moment when you first laid eyes on him and looked into those deep dark eyes and saw the depths of a man who lost so very much that you knew that you needed to stay with him. Because he could keep you safe from any harm that would happen your way.

You initially thought he'd be tough and heartless with eyes like those. Soldier's eyes, you immediately recognized, though you've never seen them so deep and so sad. Of course, you've never really taken the time to seek out a Browncoat before and stare into his or her eyes long enough to get the gist of who they are. But you were only on the ship for a few days before you saw the deep love in his eyes. The deep love for his ship, for his second hand mate, for his smiley mechanic that followed him like a little puppy. That was the first time that you wised that he would look at you like that.

It was with him that you saw the truths of things. Of the Alliance that you so dearly supported in the war. You had known he hated them. He was a Browncoat after all. That probably was the first requirement to be one. You pitied him in all honesty. Because he obviously didn't see all the good the Alliance has done for the universe. Of course, he wasn't as educated as you were. But soon education didn't matter as you first set foot on the outer planets. Planets that sometimes didn't even have grass or towns had schedules to get drinks of water. Planets where people were dying of sickness and the Alliance didn't even bat an eye. Though, through all of this, you still suppose you'd support the Alliance if you had to live through it again. They still did good in the universe.

You suppose.

Where the Alliance turned their shoulders, Malcolm Reynolds held out his hand. He saved people, killed people, he helped people. The people who were fit for being saved, not just the ones that could afford it. She couldn't even count how many times he wound up on the medical table with either a bullethole or a knife wound in some where on his body for someone that he didn't even know. Of course he'd hide his good heart by stating that he was getting paid. But not enough to justify nearly dying for.

He baffled you, and you pretty nearly love him.

Okay, so you're in love with him. But that doesn't mean he has to know. Because you know for a fact that he doesn't love you. You're just a lowly whore, remember? There's no way he'd love you. That doesn't stop you from loving him from a far.

Of course, you've noticed the fact that he'd do anything for you. Got into a sword fight to defend your honor, even though he insults you almost every day. That's got to mean something, right? You can't help but hope so.

Because you see those ghosts in his eyes. See those untold stories and deaths and horrors that maybe only Zoe knows but you want to know too. Not because you find them interesting or find pleasure in them. But because you want to know everything about him, good and bad, so that maybe those shadows will fade away. So that maybe just maybe, he'll find a new home. A new home with you. Because you figure that man deserves some happiness in his life.

So maybe that's why you lay up at night and wish that he'd barge into your room sputtering some nonsense. Or pray at night that the next day you have enough courage to tell him how dear he is to you. Or maybe just rush up to him and press your lips to his (you've imagined that their slightly chapped, but not enough that it makes it unpleasurable) and just kiss him senseless. Or maybe he'll confess his well hidden emotions and confess his own undying love for you, and offer the idea of a nice home with a large yard and 2.3 kids. Or maybe he'll kiss you. You'd take any of these.

So maybe that's why your heart lodges itself in your throat and you sit on your couch smiling politely as he stands in your doorway. You don't fail to notice the serious expression on his handsome face that doesn't quite look like that "Im going off to get myself killed" look, so your heart speeds up just a little more. He's just standing there, though, like a fish out of water, flapping his mouth open and closed without any words coming out and making weird, awkward gestures with his hands. So you decide to speak first.

"What did I tell you about barging into my room uninvited?"


End file.
